Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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