I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
