Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
