They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
