I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize
