Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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