too bad you live with your parents still
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
