One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
