Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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