Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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