Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize