I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
