Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We need to rekindle our bromance
Life is so much better after having sex.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
