You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think pants incapable of making pants work
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize