dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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