oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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