May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
