i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
