sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
