Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
