whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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