i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
