I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
