Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
