I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
