hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
