I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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