I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
