I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
