dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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