@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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