Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
