how can u be prego again
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
