The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
