so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
