is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
