Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
