i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
