I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize