yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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