Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
