Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
