How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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