Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize