I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
