I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Less talking, more tequila
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
