GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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