you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
