Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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