Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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