1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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