Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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