It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
