He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
