Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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