I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He felt like a one man threesome
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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