you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
