Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
