Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
