what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
