Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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