Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
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