it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You are a genius and a whore.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
