Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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