I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
