He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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