You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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